Thoughts while bagging leaves…

1. The four months preceding and after the birth of my child are the most stressful in my life. It puts everything into perspective.
2. Sitting and having dinner with Michael Beirut is the designer's answer to the cyclist in me having dinner with Lance Armstrong: realizing he's nice and normal like most people but wondering what it's like to work with him.
3. My neighbor gave me a rap cd and it occurred to me, she has no idea what kind of music I listen to. The cd was terrible. I threw it out the same day.
4. I like Mad Men probably cause I identify with it so much. As long as I could remember, my folks were broke and it shapes you as a person and the pain you ate and how you talk about it–to others and yourself. I wonder how people who came from money identify with it.
5. Thinking about that show, makes me reflect on being a designer and how experiences as a kid shaped my sense of self. I was skipped a grade ahead in art class in elementary school and the older kids didn't like that and took it out on me and my work. (Since I'm the only person I know who reads this, no need to explain).
6. I replied to some friends about Sammy Sosa that it's not disturbing to see him ligthen himself that way b/c it's clear he views the possibility of taking things a way to make himself more perfect as a good thing. He can't say it was a mistake either cause he had colored contacts–which if you're a woman is strange (every woman I ever met) and if you're a guy weird as in "no you're not trying out for Blade IV?"
7. The weather was perfect for bagging leaves: late enough for leaves to have fallen, early enough that if I get out there, I could get them bagged.
8. Not being a health expert or anything, I estimate that since Alex was born and me not riding now, I lose about 1% lung capacity over my best competitive shape. Having the 12th being the four month mark it's not 1 from 100 more 1 from 99 then 1 from 98 and so on basically resulting in an estimation of me being at 60% of my best shape and ten pounds heavier 175.
9. After riding in the South Mountain race in '07 and coming in second from last, I realize there's a genuine fear that I really may never be any better than that (I was gassed and nearly DOA at the finish which I was shocked I made it to) and that could be the end of the story–no happy ending. I have to come to terms with the fear that I have about that and competing in general, that regardless of the result, it's not about them, but it's about you.
10. I'm tired.

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Now… Mlb network showing the 69 world series. Though the o's lose, it still hearkens a much better time for Baltimore!