I’ve got a bunch of things on my mind and they all lead to me just being unsatisfied with things… In the cauldron of things frustrating me are m thoughts on race as highlighted in an article in adage.com, death of a distant relative who apparently was dealing drugs, among the stuff I would divulge… they just lead me to a mental state where when I’m on a bike ride, it’s more than just a ride: it’s more of a mission.
Below, as a way of connecting, I sent a couple notes along to my friend.
“You’ll probably be ruing the fact that I email you a billion times in one day and hear nothing from me for two months, but anyway.”
I went on my bike ride this morning and posted my fastest ever time for the Bellona Hill Ride (if you like)
… there’s something there about riding angry… i don’t know that anger clears my head or crystallizes all the things I want to have justice on … all the revenge I want to exact on people …. I’m almost short of breath thinking about it (not being specific here) I find it a bit mazing though that yesterday I could barely muster a 57m when today I made a 52:53m ….
… I’m almost afraid thinking about the South Mountain Hill climb which comes up this weekend but compared to the death of my cousin, it’s exactly what life’s about.
I have to learn one way or another how not to engage drivers (giving them the finger and such.) After the fact it’s so stupid. I know that cycling like basketball is half getting your position early getting big down bottom and taking not asking for the space you need on the road. That right there is scandal enough. Drivers just think your crazy there… Give them the finger or call them an ass for the dumb shit they do and then they want to fight and it’s not necessary to fight people over the proclamation of their stupidity.